Be open minded and trust in people’s experiences when they are sharing about their lives.Check your own insecurity: don’t take offence, don’t make it about you. If someone corrects you, be sure to listen, acknowledge and learn from the experience. We should take the time to learn from people with different experiences of this broad and diverse group.Īs allies, one of the most powerful things we can do is listen to and affirm LGBTIQA+ voices.ĭon’t be intimidated or scared to be an ally! We all make mistakes. While we may refer to LGBTIQA+ as a ‘community’, that doesn’t mean we all share the same experiences and values.‘When did you decide you were heterosexual?! Similarly, don’t ask invasive questions about sexual behaviours, family formation, conception etc you’d never dream of asking a straight person. Be aware of normative bias and don’t ask questions you wouldn’t ask a straight, cis person, e.g.Understand that gender identity (how you personally experience your own gender) and sexuality (sexual feelings, thoughts, attractions and behaviours) can be complex, more than just gay or straight.Also it’s up to them to share their personal stories when and to whom it feels right. They don’t owe this to anyone, and some will prefer not to come out. Understand that people don’t have to come out.Don’t make assumptions about someone’s gender, sex or sexuality or assume that everyone is heterosexual or fits into a single idea of gender roles.Wait for someone to mention their pronouns, or if it feels right, ask politely about their pronoun, e.g. Use gender neutral language when referring to groups or people you don’t know – replace she/he with they, and use the term ‘partner’. Here are a few basic principles to keep in mind: You may be uncomfortable – be ok with that. It’s important to be willing to confront and keep checking in on your own assumptions, prejudices and bias. Being proactive and doing this research independently can help take some of the emotional work off the LGBTIQA+ community, who often feel expected to educate others There are a range of great and diverse resources available – so check out the list on the Pride in Action Network website to help get started. Being a good ally takes work and can sometimes be an uncomfortable journey but you’ll be hugely rewarded with new understandings of people. If you’re at the beginning of your ally journey, consider doing some basic research. Together, we can make our university, and our world, a safer and more affirming place for everyone. As an ally, you must be willing to listen and grow in understanding and knowledge. (Note: Someone is cisgender when their sense of gender identity corresponds to their sex assigned at birth.)Learning to be a good ally is rewarding but, it can also be challenging and confronting. Allies use their position in society to counter discrimination of marginalised groups. The support of heterosexual and/or cisgender allies is very important when speaking out with and for members of the LGBTIQA+ community.